Pirates Of the Caribbean:At World’s End

Another awful sequel….why do I bother with this hollywood trash?…
Here’s why its bad:

The plot was awful, I get the impression the powers that be (i.e the studio execs) said “right we got this scene here with the big boat fight and another scene here thats like purgatory..ok go away and write something..oh and the opening scene has to be like Return of the Jedi”…WTF? Its a shame because I stayed right till the end credits (yeah I know!) and to see all those people work on the movie and to be finally let down by a piss poor script. It goes back to THE most important part of any movie…THE SCRIPT!!!!

I hate Orlando Bloom…the dude can not carry a film!

What happened to Calypso? She gets really big, turns into loads of crabs, creates a whirlpool then disappears. All that fuss about freeing her and thats all she did?

Where did all the fun Johnny Depp acting like a pirate go? After he made the 1st movie he has been totally eclipsed by the special effects and none of his lines since have been funny! Although to be honest the whole film was nowhere near as funny as the first one!!

OK so it wasn’t all bad:

The special effects were good…better then spider man

Chow Yun Fat, Geoffrey Rush, Johnny Depp, Bill Nighy and Stellen Skarsgard …need I say more? All wasted by a poor script though, I must add.

The movie is so forgettable even now I’m trying to remember bits from it for this blog and finding it hard to do so.

Mann – hunter

Just watched this again for the millionth time. I hold this movie in really high regard, it was the first where ‘movies’ became ‘films’ for me. I think part of the reason is that Michael Mann is a stylistically bold film maker. Thus when I first saw Manhunter it was glaringly obvious that he was using sound and visuals to create a certain mood.

It was the first film that made me appreciate film making as a craft. The cinematograpy is excellent as it is in all of Mann’s films, he takes it further by treating each scene like a painting. He is a master at scene composition and you can see this in the way he uses architecture as well a lighting to propel the story.

People have accused Mann of being more style then substance but that is a very simplistic view (Michael Bay anyone?). He is striving for an emotional depth but he is also one of the few directors who understands what is needed both visually and aurally to create a film.

Besides anyone who decides to end a film with a shoot out involving a serial kiler and the cop chasing him all soundtracked to Iron Butterfly’s In-a-Gadda-da-Vida deserves an Oscar end of story!

Spiderman 3 was bad

Spiderman 3 was rubish and here’s why:

1. Too much crying. Why didn’t they just call the thing ‘Spiderman 3: A Cry for Freedom’? or ‘Cryder-man 3′ (Can you see what I did there? ). Each of the 3 endings (yeah 3 endings!!) had one or more people crying in it…what the f***?
2. Too many villians. Can we please just have one villain? I’m starting to think that super villains only ever work in pairs!
3. Evil spidey reminded me too much of superman 3 when he gets the bad kryptonite…and even though that film was not great, it did the whole thing a lot better then Spiderman 3!!!
4. Whats with the dancing peter parker?

Somebody needs to do something about this!

You know in a thousand years time when alien historians land on earth to study humans. There will be only one image that will truly sum up all of mankind’s technological achievements:

Homer Simpson

OK so the quality of The Simpsons has dipped in recent years but every now and then it still manages to come up with some great lines:

Homer: Why did you have to let that bum stay here?
Marge: Its about ‘Christian Charity’!
Homer: Christian Charity!!! What’s a porn star got to do with this?

“Kill Gil, Volumes I & II”

MySpace is Crap

Here is a list, in no particular order, of my MySpace hates:

Certain people’s sites take abolutely ages to load even with my super fast broadband connection and one or two have even caused my browser to crash! What the Fuck? Is it badly built? Or is it because….

People put too much crap on their page! They think oooh I’ll add a music player, now i’ll add some videos, maybe some pictures…oh and here is a nice flash animation as well. Then lets not forget the self-obligatory blog and comments section…All this on one page!!! As someone who works in the Web programming industry (well just about anyway) I have to say no!! You can’t do that its bad design and totally fucks up usability and does not make for a good browsing experience. Hello? Navigation Menus? Use wordpress, it can do everything MySpace can but in an organised fashion…just look around my blog!

Some people think MySpace will be their route to fame and fortune…no it won’t. Fame and fortune only happens in one way…Hard Fuckin’ Graft! … OK but what about Lily Allen you say? Yeah well so what? Her talent is overated and she is just a fad (OK thats my opinion and not general concensus but as with all things time will prove me right…hopefully)

There is too much crap content on there. People need to realise that Web 2.0 depends on content, too much of it out there is just plain crap and in dire need of some editorial control. I don’t care what you think of Kate Moss’s new Top Shop range or that you still like Britney Spears even after seeing her shaved head and shaved women’s bits (can I say pussy or is it too vulgar?) …OK bit hypocritical here considering i’m writing a blog doing exactly that but i’m under no delusion that anybody is reading this or ever going to read this or even take my opinions seriously…why should you? Get your own fuckin’ opinions …I think I just killed my last point :S …oh well

Its owned by Rupert Murdoch…nuff said

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

So about half way through this book and I have to say its a weird one. What do I mean by that? For a start the book is not what I expected it to be. I used to watch this TV series based on the book as a kid and I always thought of it as a children’s book but reading the book now for the first time I couldn’t be more wrong, in fact I would go as far as saying that one should only ever approach Huckleberry Finn as an adult. The language that Twain writes in is very tough even for me! He uses lots of different dialects from the Deep South writing the laguage as it sounds not how it reads (I’m sure there is a word for this!). However thats not the toughest thing about this book. The character of Huckleberry Finn is to all intents a racist in the making. Twain (speaking as Huckleberry Finn) litters the book with numerous uses of the n-word (yeah even I can’t bring myself to use that word in this blog!) when refering to the escaped slave Jim and I shudder everytime he uses it. Twain manages to get you, the reader, to empathise with Finn and just as you a beginning to like the character he throws it back at you by making some reference to Finn’s belief in the validity of slavery. It could put quite a lot of people off the book.

The book of course is well worth plowing through. Twains description of the relationship between Jim and Finn although far from perfect does have its merits. Twain makes it perfectly clear that Finn is a product of society around him and not of some internal hatred. There are also some amazing scenes, the one that springs to mind immediately is the one where Finn decides not to turn Jim in even though he feels bad about not doing so because if he actually did turn him in he would feel even worse and why do something that would make you fell bad? (I’m proabably not explaining it very well but read the book and you will understand what I mean).

Most of the problems with Huckleberry Finn can be traced back to bad editing…Jim, in one chapter, is portrayed as a fool and then in the next he is one of the shrewdest characters I’ve ever read..that makes no sense…

And the ending is truly problematic…I won’t go into details in case you are reading the book for yourself but to me it kind of negates all the previous machinations of Huck in helping Jim to escape.

Blades of Glory

Chazz: [to Jimmy's voice mail] If we went to a Halloween party together, I would be Robin and you would be Batman.
Chazz: That’s how much I care for you.

Suprisingly funnier then I thought it was going to be…and as a comic geek one of my favourite all time movie lines.

Dip

My Favourite Superheroes

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